After doing some additional research, I unearthed some more names…specifically nicknames…that eluded me in my initial searches. Because of this, I’ve decided to slightly shuffle my top 30. Because of the new entries some of the original Top 30 had to get cut. We’ve asked them to leave their playbooks and almost-great name tags in their lockers.
As a result, I present to you an additional Honorary Mention list. Some of these would probably even make the Top 50, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to go back and completely redo #31-50.
Eddie “Edmonton Express” Shore- Eddie Shore needs no introduction. One of the greatest defenseman ever to play the game and was an end-to-end D man well before Bobby Orr was even born. To me, “Edmonton Express” was a good nickname, but didn’t blow me away.
Johnny “Chief” Bucyk - I almost feel to the point of sacrilege here by putting Eddie Shore and “Chief” in ANY sort of Honorable Mention category. Unfortunately, I’ve only been mildly impressed by the name…even if it does (incorrectly) reflect his heritage. Now, if they called him Geronimo, Cochise or even Pocahontas…well then, that would be a different story.
Phil “The Italian Slot Machine” Esposito - The only reason this nickname isn’t in my top ten is because of its relative obscurity. I’ve only seen this reference in a few places and, unfortunately, not plastered all over the internet, signed on his 8×10 photos, etc. “Espo” is obviously the more common moniker which, regrettably, isn’t all that impressive. His detractors often pointed out that most of his goals weren’t that fancy and came while standing in the slot (hence the nickname) but you know what? Not everyone who “just stands in the slot” can rack up 717 career goals.
Ron “Peaches” Lyons - The 1930-31 Bruins had a Dutch, Tiny, Cooney, Dit, Smokey and a Perk. Somehow, someone, somewhere decided they also needed a Peaches. With that name, you have to wonder if they were really trying to get a flapper to accompany the team.
Orval Tessier - His name screams farm upbringing. And also smells vaguely of popcorn.
Garnet “Ace” Bailey - The nickname “Ace” has also been a weakness of mine but the fact that he died on Flight 175 in the 9/11 attacks gives him an extra boost in my book.
Last week, I began my countdown of the top 50 names in Bruins history. One thing I want to clarify is that there’s no “greatest” and “worst” names list…just greatest. However, by default, some of the worst names are also the greatest. Would anyone remember Don Mossi if it wasn’t for his giant ears? And if this is the first time you’ve ever seen Don Mossi, what will you remember him for? His career 3.43 ERA? IIIIIII don’t think so! Likewise, some of the worst names are also the “greatest”.
And so we strike forward!
#40 - Gerry “Cheesy” Cheevers - Whether it be due to his predisposition to giving up a lot of goals, his taste in clothes or a love of muenster, you’ve gotta love the nickname of “Cheesy”.
#39 - Wayne “Weiner” Brown - A man lost to the ages who only played four playoff games with the team in 1954…none in the regular season…and never saw the NHL again. And yet, he managed to earn a nickname. What’s in a name? Perhaps everything.
#38 - Bob “Pinkie” Davie- Hey, as stupid as it sounds, if you’re going to give someone a finger-based nickname, I’d rather it be Pinkie than “Thumbs” or “Middle Finger”. I’m sorry, check that. If his nickname was “Middle Finger”, he catapults to #1 on this list.
#37 - Woody Dumart- Maybe it’s the “Cheers” fan in me, but I’ve always loved “Woody” as a nickname. That love also goes back to precocious woodpeckers. Not only that, but “Dumart” rolls off the tongue rather easily…to the point where the whole name sounds like a question.
#36 - Cleon Daskalakis - I’m going to go out on a limb here and say he’s Greek. Hey, I’m right! Cleon’s one of those rare people who…with at least 10 games under their belt…have nearly more letters in their last name (ten) than games on the ice (twelve).
#35 - Charles “Moose” Cahill - One season, one point…in 31 games. No, he wasn’t a defenseman or a goalie. He was a winger. Even better? He was 5′10″ and 180 lbs. Apparently, “Moose” referred to his agility, not his size.
#34 - Harry “Yip” Foster- According to a 1995 trivia piece in the Boston Globe, the first mustachioed player in the NHL. What’s that have to do with “Yip”? I have no idea. Maybe he was either a bad putter or he had one of those tiny aggravating dogs that makes you want to punt it out the window when someone comes to the door or when a noisy leaf blows by.
#33 - Poul Popiel- No, that’s not a typo. A name like that seems like a cross between Pol Pot and Ron Popeil. Boy, as much as I’d love to come up with clever joke incorporating a mass murderer, the Veg-O-Matic and hockey, I’m drawing a blank here. Well, whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll include the 1924-25 Boston Bruins! <rimshot> Thank you! Thank you! You’re too kind! Thank you!
#32 - P.J. Stock - His name just screams “goon”. Somehow I don’t think his parents had any intention for him to grow up to become a frilly center with cutesy stickhandling skills. And…hey wait a minute…I may have found the punchline for #33 above!
#31 - Joe Juneau - Like Dallas Smith, you gotta love the city name. And he treasured it right down to the #49 on his jersey (Alaska, of course, being the 49th state). Even better was the French pronunciation of his name: Zhoe-ay Zhoo-no.
On the whole, great players usually have uninteresting names. Eddie Shore. Gordie Howe. Sometimes, they’re moderately interesting. Red Kelly. Wayne Gretzky. And, rarely, there were dual home runs. “Black Jack” Stewart. Bernie “Boom Boom” Geoffrion.
But, unfortunately, for the most part those with memorable names have never had equally memorable talent. Henceforth, these people have been doomed to obscurity, only resurfacing in archived box scores and “whatever happened to” pieces.
But here at The Spoked B, we’re about to change that.
Flipping through the annals of Bruins history yields some great names. Some cursed with dumb first names, some with dumb last names and some with dumb nicknames. Sometimes they hit the trifecta with all three. Sometimes the names rhyme, sometimes they’re an example of alliteration and sometimes they’re so bizarre you wonder if they were from a different planet or if their parents were “touched in the head” when they filled out the birth certificate.
Even better, sometimes they’re just so fantastic you wish the guy succeeded so that you could discuss his name and/or wear his jersey with pride. Would Babe Ruth be the same if he went by his given name of “George”?
The list I’ve compiled consists of what I feel are the best Bruins names ever. They may meet the above criteria, or none of it. But, for whatever reason, they appealed to me. So, without further ado, here they are. And, sorry guys…no Wacey Rabbit. Maybe next year.
Honorable Mention
Ultra-Italians: Tony Tuzzolino, Gino Rozzini and Zellio Toppazzini
Nickname-o’Holics of the early Bruins - Albert “Babe” Seibert, Walter “Happy” Harnott, Leighton “Happy” Emms, Reginald “Hooley” Smith, Frederick “Bun” Cook, and Ralph “Cooney” Weiland
Funny Fins: Jarmo Kekalainen and Mikko Makela
Others: Nevin Markwart, Larry Melnyk, Moe Lemay, Blaine Lacher, Joel Prpic, Wes Walz, Vic Ripley, Sylvio Mantha, Pete Babando, Eddie Panagabko, Marquis Mathieu, Ivan Huml, Brantt Mhyres and Bill Quackenbush
#50- Fernie Flaman- “Fernie” (snicker) . ‘Course, if I ever did that to his face, at 80 years old he’d probably still lay me out.
#48 - Orland Kurtenbach - With a name like that you could swear he was competing against Arnold Schwarzenegger for Austrian body building championships back in the ’70s. Even the accent fits perfectly. Ahhhhhnold. Orrrrrrland. See? Rolls right off the tongue.
#47 - Grigori Panteleev - One of those cheap Russian imports from the ’90s that never quite worked out. Most importantly, though, his name sounded vaguely like “pantaloons”.
#46 - Carol Vadnais - One of my favorite Bruins of the ’70s. Unfortunately, people named Carol just shouldn’t look like this.
#45 - Dallas Smith - Another weakness of mine are people named after cities. And one in Texas as well. Dallas Earl Smith. It just bleeds “cowboy” cool. And this was a guy from Manitoba too. Well, I guess it beats Hamiota Earl Smith.
#44 - Antti Laaksonen - Simply put, his name reminds me of “laxative”. And any scatological humor is a winner in my book.
#43 - Ralph Barahona - When I say this name out loud, I wind up getting Heart stuck in my head. Ooooooo Barahona! Woaaoww wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah WAAHHHHHHHH woaaoww.
#42 - Pete Peeters - Honestly. Who gives their kid the same first name as their surname? If he didn’t adopt “Pete” he’d have been Peter Peeters. Maybe he should have gone with “Flash”.
#41 - Cam Neely- Believe it or not, “Cam” was the first time I was introduced to “Cameron” as a mainstream first name. And even then, I didn’t make the connection. As a result, I usually drew a reference to “camshaft” and a car related nickname was always cool…as long as it wasn’t “dipstick“.
You know it’s a slow news month when this becomes the biggest Bruins news since Tuukka Rask joining Providence to essentially just sit around and pander to the locals. (What? No Dropkick Murphys?)
On a few positive notes though:
The Bruins *do* need defensive help
The dude *was* the 55th overall selection in 2005
Hockeysfuture.com earlier today (before they changed the team he was on) listed him as the 9th best prospect in the Blue Jackets organization.
His offensive numbers nearly doubled this year (well, from 17 points to 31 points, but he *is* a “defensive-minded” defenseman)
Hey, for a fifth round pick? I’ll take it.
I just hope they find better video out there for the kid than this…
So this was it. The last time the Bruins won a conference final to play for the Stanley Cup. And they did it with with style too…a four game sweep of the Capitals which included a turn-the-other-sheek style of play to counter the Caps’ dirty tactics. Granted, Dino Ciccarelli and Kevin Hatcher were gone but still, a conference championship is a conference championship.
Over the course of time, you tend to forget certain bad events when they’re overshadowed relatively quickly by even more catastrophic news. Bob Beers’ broken leg was one of them. I vaguely remember when it happened, but I definitely recall the following season’s playoffs where Cam Neely received the dirty hit from that @$&@! Ulf Samuelsson that effectively hastened the end of Neely’s career. If that hit on Neely didn’t occur, I think the Beers incident would be a little more prominent in my memory.
Unfortunately, John Carter never would get to hoist the Cup, eventually going to the Sharks and then fading away in the minors until his retirement after the ‘94-’95 season.
LANDOVER, Md. - No, it’s not getting easier for the Bruins. They may have swept their way out of D.C.’s dirty suburbia last night, and into the Stanley Cup finals, but it took a broken leg to Bob Beers and more self-control and tighter lips than 12,000 Trappist Monks to get them there.
Even with Beers lost early in the second period, the Bruins played solid, unyielding defense and rode a pair of Cam Neely goals (Nos. 11 and 12 of the playoffs) to another victory, 3-2, over the Washington Capitals for a 4-0 sweep of the Patrick Division champions.
The triumph, their fifth straight in the playoffs, carried the Bruins into the Cup finals for the second time in three years. They will play either Chicago or ‘88 co-finalist Edmonton in a best-of-seven round that will begin in Boston Tuesday or next Friday, depending on when the Oilers and Blackhawks — now tied, 2-2 — wrap up their semifinal set.
Again, the Bruins withstood the Caps’ cheap shots, including Tim Bergland’s leg-breaking and Dale Hunter’s violent slashing, to rub out the punchless — as in scoring — Capitals. They couldn’t be induced into fights, they barely looked at the Caps the wrong way (if that’s possible) and they ran their post-season record to a league-best 12-4.
It was Boston’s first series sweep since 1979, and the Bruins once more have a chance to win the Cup for the first time since 1972. They had that same opportunity in ‘88, but went for a four-game flop at the feet of the Oilers and the winged skates of Wayne Gretzky.
This time, they hope, will be different. Gretzky is gone, and so, perhaps, is the Bruins’ naivete.
“Two years ago was a unique situation,” said Boston captain Ray Bourque, who played a down-scaled offensive role in the series with the Caps and quarterbacked a defense that allowed but three goals over the last three games. “In ‘88, we’d beaten Montreal for the first time in 45 years, and the team was buzzing. We figured, no matter what happened, we’d had a pretty good year.
“This year, there is no satisfaction unless we win the whole thing.”
The Caps, minus their top offensive threat, Dino Ciccarelli, and their best blue-liner, Kevin Hatcher, played like a team that wouldn’t be satisfied unless it sent Boston out of the playoffs in body bags.
As it was, Beers went off on a stretcher early in the second period, his femur badly broken — in what team physician Ashby Moncure described as “a freak — something I haven’t seen in 21 years of hockey.” Beers remained overnight at a D.C. hospital and will require extensive surgery. He should be released to fly back to Boston tomorrow.
In Game 3, of course, Boston’s Craig Janney was knocked nearly unconscious by a blind-side flying cross-check by Hunter. Hunter the Barbarian was at it again in Game 4, two-handing his former Caps’ roommate, Garry Galley, with a vicious slash.
For breaking Beers’ leg, Bergland received a two-minute tripping minor. Hunter sat out a deuce, too, for slashing.
The NHL’s officiating is beyond criticism now. It can best be described as high comedy. The skating stand-up man last night was Denis Morel. They should take away their whistles and give them a cigarette, an open microphone and a lounge in the corner of the arena, where fans could walk up between periods and catch their act.
Outrageous? Maybe, but perhaps Rodney Dangerfield could be their coach. He has a load of hockey jokes and gets no respect, either. Someone should get these guys more help, by way of a second referee on the ice, or give them tools like video replay. Players are getting hurt, and no one seems to care.
The Bruins batted home win No. 4 in similar fashion to Games 2 and 3. They got the lead early, with John Carter footing in a Bobby Carpenter relay with the night only 53 seconds old. By the end of the first period, with Geoff Courtnall off for elbowing, Neely made it 2-0 with his first of the night.
The Caps closed to 2-1 late in the second, with Nick Kypreos burying a backhander that he followed with an eyes-closed twirl as he held his head toward the heavens. It appeared as though he was thanking a higher authority for ending some seven-year drought. Perhaps he was.
Neely knocked home the 3-1 lead only 2:08 into the third on a Brian Propp pass of a lifetime. Kneeling in the left corner, he one-handed a backhand relay to Neely in the slot. The Caps cut it to 3-2 when Hunter knocked in a John Druce pass at 9:33. But Washington would get only two more shots all night, and finish at a 17-14 disadvantage.
It might all have been different had Ciccarelli and Hatcher played. Chances are, though, the Caps would have been similarly mean-spirited.
It’s not getting easier. It’s getting more exciting, dirtier and dirtier, and closer and closer.
“You know, I’ve never seen the Cup, not in person, or anything,” said Carter. “It would kinda be neat if the first time I saw it was the first time I held it.”
