Archive for the '50 Greatest Bruins names' Category
Posted in Bruins History, 50 Greatest Bruins names June 18th, 2007
So here we are. From Fernie Flaman at #50, through Gerry “Cheesy” Cheevers at #40, tiptoeing by Phil “The Italian Slot Machine” Esposito in my last minute addendum, past Jim “Peggy” O’Neill at #28, and finally past Emory “Spunk” Sparrow at #13 we now arrive at the ten greatest Bruins names of all time. Well. In my opinion, anyway. But, hey, what are lists without controversy? 
#10 - Frankie “Mister Zero” Brimsek - A goalie doesn’t get that name without reason and he more than earned it. Hell, in 1938-39 he logged 10 shutouts in 43 games. Anyone who can post a goose egg every four games is okay in my book. Even better, his name sounds like a comic book arch-villain who covers people in ice.
#9 - Armand “Bep” Guidolin - Go ahead. Say “Bep Guidolin” ten times fast. Sounds like you’re communicating with fish, doesn’t it? The story of how Armand Guidolin got this nickname differs, but I prefer the Wikipedia version (his Italian mother pronounced baby, “Beppy”) over the Legends of Hockey version (a broadcaster called him “Bep” because his birth name was too difficult). “Armand” is too difficult to pronounce? C’mon.
#8 - Bob Beers - This one really doesn’t need any explanation, does it? Even better, it’s plural. The only way you could have topped this is if his last name was “Kegs”.
#7 - Glen Featherstone - Jumbo shrimp. Major General. Government Intelligence. As oxymorons go, it doesn’t get much better than “Featherstone”. What’s his family origin? Pumice?
#6 - Harry “Apple Cheeks” Lumley - So immature and insultingly patronizing, it’s a winner every time. Like someone nicknamed “Skippy”, it’s hard to take them seriously. But, hey, the dude’s in the Hall of Fame!
#5 - Bruce Shoebottom - Like Bob Beers, there’s really no explanation needed with this one. Just as the exposed sole of a foot in Arab culture is considered extremely insulting, Shoebottom…wellll, lets just say that he wasn’t a great defenseman. He was, however, a mean S.O.B. From Hockey Draft Central:
Shoebottom exhibited one of the angriest outbursts in pro hockey history during Oklahoma City’s March 23, 1994, CHL game at Tulsa. The incident took place after Shoebottom tried to leave the penalty box to resume a fight with Mike MacWilliam, who was on his way to the opposing penalty box after officials had broken up a fight between the two players. The attendant in the penalty box was unable to restrain an irate Shoebottom, and police intervened to protect the attendant from further harm. Shoebottom then head-butted one of the policeman trying to restrain him and was only subdued after a blast of pepper spray and a chokehold. Shoebottom suffered severe shoulder and neck injuries in the bizarre outburst. Initially charged with assault, Shoebottom was never tried since the charges were dropped.
Oof. You know what, I take that all back. Bruce Shoebottom’s one of the greatest defenseman ever. Better than Orr. (gulp)
#4 - Real Chevrefils - Never in my life have I ever heard of someone whose name sounds like a gas station promotion. “That’s right, if you bring your Camaro down to Dave’s Citgo this Saturday, we’ll give you a real Chevy refill!”
#3 - Bronco Horvath - Well, hell, as long as we’re talking about Chevys, we might as well segue into a Bronco. Like the horse the truck’s named after, if you want to make anyone sound tough, call ‘em Bronco. Hey, it worked for Bronco Nagurski. Although Horvath wasn’t exactly a tough guy, he did have some good years scoring on the “Uke Line” with Johnny Bucyk and Vic Stasiuk.
#2 - Fred Knipscheer - This is a name that tantalized me from the get-go. I can’t explain why, but it just sounds…well…*perfect*. Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Pretend that this is a different Freddie Knipscheer…one that DIDN’T score only 9 points in 28 games. Now imagine these lines delivered in a Boston drawl: “Freddie Kuh-nip-sheah with only one defender to beat! He pokes the puck through his legs and gets it back, Kuh-nip-sheah shoots! He scores!!! Goal number 67 for Kuh-nip-sheah this season!” Ahhhh, gives you chills doesn’t it? It makes me want to go run out and get a jersey lettered right now. You pair that name with any kind of talent (be it scoring or fighting) and it guarantees a barroom legend.
#1 - Jean Pusie - Pusie was the clown of hockey in his time known more for his on-the-ice antics than for his actual talent. From Legends of Hockey:
In London, however, fans were more preoccupied with his behaviour than his stickhandling. One night, on a breakaway, he fired a sizzler that took the opposing goalies’ glove right off of his hand and into the net for a score. Before the goalie could move, Pusie dove into the net, secured the glove and presented it to the befuddled goalkeeper accompanied by a low bow.
Not only that, but he was a professional wrestler too. Slam! Wrestling recounts a humorous tale from Canadian sportswriter Jim Coleman:
“My final meeting with Jean Pusie came after he had abandoned hockey and embraced professional wrestling. We
met at Toronto’s Maple Leaf Gardens on a Thursday night when Pusie appeared in a preliminary bout on a regular weekly wrestling card promoted by Frank Tunney.
“Late that night, the wrestlers and several members of the news media were drinking in Tunney’s suite of offices on the main floor Church Street side of Maple Leaf Gardens. One of the wrestlers, Rudy Paytek, was an accomplished accordionist and was entertaining his fellow-wrestlers on the squeeze box as they waiting to be called into Tunney’s inner office to receive their individual shares of the night’s box-office receipts.
“Finally, from behind his office door, Tunney bawled out, ‘Pusie!’ As he arose from his chair, Pusie tapped the accordion-player, Rudy Paytek, on the shoulder. ‘Come with me,’ Pusie said to Paytek, ‘I like to listen to music while I’m getting screwed.’”
But let’s be honest everyone. We all know the reason Pusie’s on this list. My God, how can anyone go through life with this name? This should be the name of the French Prime Minister, not a hockey player. Hey, you’ve got to give Pusie credit…he made the most of it, becoming a fan favorite and even going into wrestling. Not surprising since he probably had to learn to fight at an early age.
But the best part about Jean Pusie? He only played four games in a Bruins jersey and spent most of his NHL career in a Canadiens sweater. Now THAT’S being a Pusie!
Posted in Bruins History, 50 Greatest Bruins names June 9th, 2007
So whaddya think? I’ll betcha no one was pondering the like of John Quilty and “Peggy” O’Neill, were ya? Hang on tight…what’s left is bound to be a pleasant blend of the obvious and the obscure. I can almost guarantee no one’s going to guess my top two. But, I digress, I’m tipping my hat too much…we’re not even at the Top Ten yet!
#20 – Orville “Obs” Heximer – Orville Heximer was good enough, but “Obs”? Heh. So immature. So awesome.
#19 - Forbes Kennedy - With a name like this, you don’t get a sad story about an poor child growing up in a steel mill town…father dying at age 7 after a horrible smelting accident…15 siblings in tattered clothes, 12 of them dying before the Red Sox won in 2004. Hell, you wonder why he’s not running for office in Worcester and/or driving mistresses into the local tributary. The funny thing is that he had 195 PIM for the Flyers in ‘68-’69. “Errrrah, is there any powdah in the clubhouse? My right fist is getting chafed!”
#18 - Sprague Cleghorn - Pay, ahhh say, pay attention boy! Ahhh was one of the dirtiest players eveh and even clubbed Lionel Hitchman over the head with mah stick when he was on the Senators! Ahhh couldn’t believe he kept his teeth numbered for just such an occasion!
#17 - Bobby Schmautz - Ahhhhh, Bobby Schmautz…my favorite non-Orr, non-Esposito player from the ’70s. You didn’t think I’d leave him off this list, did you? How can you not love someone apparently named after something you might find on the side of your face after eating a jelly donut?
#16 - Vladimir “Rosie” Ruzicka - As if “Rosie” wasn’t funny enough, there’s something ironic about having the same first name as Vlad the Impaler in addition to that. It’s almost like having someone named Adolf “Sweetcheeks” Johnson.
#15 - Kenny “The Rat” Linseman - Thus named by Bobby Clarke due to his on ice-posture. His career was ended prematurely in 1996 when he was slapped across the Panthers locker room by Scott Mellanby, sparking their Stanley Cup bid that year. What? Oh. sorry. Wrong rat.
#14 – Chris “Knuckles” Nilan – Finally, a nickname befitting someone’s job description. You know when you’re hiring someone named “Knuckles”, he’s not going to be there to help boost your power play. Not unless you’re planning on having him clobber the other team’s best defender.
#13 - Emory “Spunk” Sparrow - Another case where the name was good enough already but the nickname enhanced it jusssst that much more. He may have been spunky, but he wasn’t that good…in only eight NHL games, he had zero points to show for it.
#12 - Fleming MacKell - …zerre, late one night deep in zee Louisiana marshezz I heard it…zee throaty warble of one of zee rarest and mozzt elusive waterfowl in Les Etats-Unis…zee Fleming MacKell…
#11 - Percy “Perk” Galbraith - I guess when you’ve got a name like Percy, you’ve got to find a way to toughen it up a little bit. Unfortunately, I’m not sure if “Perk” was the way to go. On a positive note, he did play on various teams with “Peaches“, “Peggy” and “Pinkie“, so at least he must have able to deflect some of the taunting then…
Coming soon, the final list you’ve all been waiting for…#1-10!
Posted in Bruins History, 50 Greatest Bruins names June 2nd, 2007
Am I getting down to your favorites? Goooood. I know you guys have a few that you can think of off the tops of your heads. Hopefully I haven’t hit them already. If I have, you may be surprised what’s still out there.
And the list continues. For #41-50 click here, for #31-40 go here and for some last minute additions click here.
#30 - Bill Shill - If there was anyone whose name seemed to have them predestined towards stardom…or at least hawking low-end products with his name on it…it was him. But, alas, playing only 79 NHL games rarely provides you that opportunity. Maybe in the ’90s pal…but not in the ’40s.
#29 - Gord Kluzak - Loved the name then, love it now. It sounds like either a hard-nosed Ukranian player or a Neptunian overlord from a 1950s sci-fi movie. His history of knee injuries are legendary but here’s an interesting piece of trivia: the first NHL player to cause a devastating knee injury to Kluzak? How about this guy when he skated for the Devils?
#28 - Jim “Peggy” O’Neill - Sometimes you just don’t want to know.
#27 - Werner Schnarr - A German who predated the Kraut Line by about 10 years. Hooooooogaannnnnn!!!!
#26 - Aubrey “Dit” Clapper - I’ll be honest with you. He had me at “Aubrey”. Dit was just icing on the cake.
#25 - Rogie Vachon - The guy who most reminded me of Denis “I lose my blouse!” Lemieux. Plus, his “smiley face” mask was always a favorite.
#24 - Cecil “Tiny” Thompson - Usually, people dubbed “Tiny” aren’t small (Thompson was 5′10″, 180 lbs…not bad for the ’20s), or at least don’t play that way. In 12 years, he collected four Vezina trophies and backstopped the B’s to their first Stanley Cup victory in 1929. DON’T call me “Tiny”!
#23 - Clayton Beddoes - This is probably more of a personal favorite of mine because of a faux pas. Knowing a couple of Claytons myself, I thought Beddoes was black before I saw him play. Obviously I was wrong. Hey, for the longest time I thought Johnny Mathis was white too…what the hell do I know?
#22 - Dmitri Kvartalnov - K-Vart was to Russian imports what K-Mart is to designer clothes. Well, at least he produced more than #47 Grigori Panteleev.
#21 - John Quilty - C’mon. Quilty?? Is there a Steve Macrame out there too? And before someone else makes the joke in the comment field, I’ll beat you all to it: Maybe he was part of a “patchwork” defense? <rimshot>
Stay tuned for #11-20!
Posted in Bruins History, 50 Greatest Bruins names May 31st, 2007
After doing some additional research, I unearthed some more names…specifically nicknames…that eluded me in my initial searches. Because of this, I’ve decided to slightly shuffle my top 30. Because of the new entries some of the original Top 30 had to get cut. We’ve asked them to leave their playbooks and almost-great name tags in their lockers.
As a result, I present to you an additional Honorary Mention list. Some of these would probably even make the Top 50, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to go back and completely redo #31-50. 
Eddie “Edmonton Express” Shore - Eddie Shore needs no introduction. One of the greatest defenseman ever to play the game and was an end-to-end D man well before Bobby Orr was even born. To me, “Edmonton Express” was a good nickname, but didn’t blow me away.
Johnny “Chief” Bucyk - I almost feel to the point of sacrilege here by putting Eddie Shore and “Chief” in ANY sort of Honorable Mention category. Unfortunately, I’ve only been mildly impressed by the name…even if it does (incorrectly) reflect his heritage. Now, if they called him Geronimo, Cochise or even Pocahontas…well then, that would be a different story.
Phil “The Italian Slot Machine” Esposito - The only reason this nickname isn’t in my top ten is because of its relative obscurity. I’ve only seen this reference in a few places and, unfortunately, not plastered all over the internet, signed on his 8×10 photos, etc. “Espo” is obviously the more common moniker which, regrettably, isn’t all that impressive. His detractors often pointed out that most of his goals weren’t that fancy and came while standing in the slot (hence the nickname) but you know what? Not everyone who “just stands in the slot” can rack up 717 career goals.
Derek “Turk” Sanderson - I only wish I could give mustache points. Man, I miss the 70’s.
Ron “Peaches” Lyons - The 1930-31 Bruins had a Dutch, Tiny, Cooney, Dit, Smokey and a Perk. Somehow, someone, somewhere decided they also needed a Peaches. With that name, you have to wonder if they were really trying to get a flapper to accompany the team.
Orval Tessier - His name screams farm upbringing. And also smells vaguely of popcorn.
Garnet “Ace” Bailey - The nickname “Ace” has also been a weakness of mine but the fact that he died on Flight 175 in the 9/11 attacks gives him an extra boost in my book.
Posted in Bruins History, 50 Greatest Bruins names May 28th, 2007
Last week, I began my countdown of the top 50 names in Bruins history. One thing I want to clarify is that there’s no “greatest” and “worst” names list…just greatest. However, by default, some of the worst names are also the greatest. Would anyone remember Don Mossi if it wasn’t for his giant ears? And if this is the first time you’ve ever seen Don Mossi, what will you remember him for? His career 3.43 ERA? IIIIIII don’t think so! Likewise, some of the worst names are also the “greatest”.
And so we strike forward!
#40 - Gerry “Cheesy” Cheevers - Whether it be due to his predisposition to giving up a lot of goals, his taste in clothes or a love of muenster, you’ve gotta love the nickname of “Cheesy”.
#39 - Wayne “Weiner” Brown - A man lost to the ages who only played four playoff games with the team in 1954…none in the regular season…and never saw the NHL again. And yet, he managed to earn a nickname. What’s in a name? Perhaps everything.
#38 - Bob “Pinkie” Davie - Hey, as stupid as it sounds, if you’re going to give someone a finger-based nickname, I’d rather it be Pinkie than “Thumbs” or “Middle Finger”. I’m sorry, check that. If his nickname was “Middle Finger”, he catapults to #1 on this list.
#37 - Woody Dumart - Maybe it’s the “Cheers” fan in me, but I’ve always loved “Woody” as a nickname. That love also goes back to precocious woodpeckers. Not only that, but “Dumart” rolls off the tongue rather easily…to the point where the whole name sounds like a question.
#36 - Cleon Daskalakis - I’m going to go out on a limb here and say he’s Greek. Hey, I’m right! Cleon’s one of those rare people who…with at least 10 games under their belt…have nearly more letters in their last name (ten) than games on the ice (twelve).
#35 - Charles “Moose” Cahill - One season, one point…in 31 games. No, he wasn’t a defenseman or a goalie. He was a winger. Even better? He was 5′10″ and 180 lbs. Apparently, “Moose” referred to his agility, not his size.
#34 - Harry “Yip” Foster - According to a 1995 trivia piece in the Boston Globe, the first mustachioed player in the NHL. What’s that have to do with “Yip”? I have no idea. Maybe he was either a bad putter or he had one of those tiny aggravating dogs that makes you want to punt it out the window when someone comes to the door or when a noisy leaf blows by.
#33 - Poul Popiel - No, that’s not a typo. A name like that seems like a cross between Pol Pot and Ron Popeil. Boy, as much as I’d love to come up with clever joke incorporating a mass murderer, the Veg-O-Matic and hockey, I’m drawing a blank here. Well, whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll include the 1924-25 Boston Bruins! <rimshot> Thank you! Thank you! You’re too kind! Thank you!
#32 - P.J. Stock - His name just screams “goon”. Somehow I don’t think his parents had any intention for him to grow up to become a frilly center with cutesy stickhandling skills. And…hey wait a minute…I may have found the punchline for #33 above!
#31 - Joe Juneau - Like Dallas Smith, you gotta love the city name. And he treasured it right down to the #49 on his jersey (Alaska, of course, being the 49th state). Even better was the French pronunciation of his name: Zhoe-ay Zhoo-no.
Stay tuned for #21-30, coming soon!
