Posted in Bruins History, 50 Greatest Bruins names 3 Comments May 24th, 2007
The 50 greatest Bruins names of all time: #41-50
On the whole, great players usually have uninteresting names. Eddie Shore. Gordie Howe. Sometimes, they’re moderately interesting. Red Kelly. Wayne Gretzky. And, rarely, there were dual home runs. “Black Jack” Stewart. Bernie “Boom Boom” Geoffrion.
But, unfortunately, for the most part those with memorable names have never had equally memorable talent. Henceforth, these people have been doomed to obscurity, only resurfacing in archived box scores and “whatever happened to” pieces.
But here at The Spoked B, we’re about to change that.
Flipping through the annals of Bruins history yields some great names. Some cursed with dumb first names, some with dumb last names and some with dumb nicknames. Sometimes they hit the trifecta with all three. Sometimes the names rhyme, sometimes they’re an example of alliteration and sometimes they’re so bizarre you wonder if they were from a different planet or if their parents were “touched in the head” when they filled out the birth certificate.
Even better, sometimes they’re just so fantastic you wish the guy succeeded so that you could discuss his name and/or wear his jersey with pride. Would Babe Ruth be the same if he went by his given name of “George”?
The list I’ve compiled consists of what I feel are the best Bruins names ever. They may meet the above criteria, or none of it. But, for whatever reason, they appealed to me. So, without further ado, here they are. And, sorry guys…no Wacey Rabbit. Maybe next year.
Honorable Mention
- Ultra-Italians: Tony Tuzzolino, Gino Rozzini and Zellio Toppazzini
- Nickname-o’Holics of the early Bruins - Albert “Babe” Seibert, Walter “Happy” Harnott, Leighton “Happy” Emms, Reginald “Hooley” Smith, Frederick “Bun” Cook, and Ralph “Cooney” Weiland
- Funny Fins: Jarmo Kekalainen and Mikko Makela
- Others: Nevin Markwart, Larry Melnyk, Moe Lemay, Blaine Lacher, Joel Prpic, Wes Walz, Vic Ripley, Sylvio Mantha, Pete Babando, Eddie Panagabko, Marquis Mathieu, Ivan Huml, Brantt Mhyres and Bill Quackenbush
#50 - Fernie Flaman - “Fernie” (snicker) . ‘Course, if I ever did that to his face, at 80 years old he’d probably still lay me out.
#49 - William “Flash” Hollett - A member of the 30’s era Bruins which seemed to have a quota of at least seven nicknamed players on their teams at all times. To me, “Flash” is one of the corniest, yet most endearing nicknames in sports. Even better is when it’s used ironically like Zdeno “Flash” Chara.
#48 - Orland Kurtenbach - With a name like that you could swear he was competing against Arnold Schwarzenegger for Austrian body building championships back in the ’70s. Even the accent fits perfectly. Ahhhhhnold. Orrrrrrland. See? Rolls right off the tongue.
#47 - Grigori Panteleev - One of those cheap Russian imports from the ’90s that never quite worked out. Most importantly, though, his name sounded vaguely like “pantaloons”.
#46 - Carol Vadnais - One of my favorite Bruins of the ’70s. Unfortunately, people named Carol just shouldn’t look like this.
#45 - Dallas Smith - Another weakness of mine are people named after cities. And one in Texas as well. Dallas Earl Smith. It just bleeds “cowboy” cool. And this was a guy from Manitoba too. Well, I guess it beats Hamiota Earl Smith.
#44 - Antti Laaksonen - Simply put, his name reminds me of “laxative”. And any scatological humor is a winner in my book.
#43 - Ralph Barahona - When I say this name out loud, I wind up getting Heart stuck in my head. Ooooooo Barahona! Woaaoww wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah WAAHHHHHHHH woaaoww.
#42 - Pete Peeters - Honestly. Who gives their kid the same first name as their surname? If he didn’t adopt “Pete” he’d have been Peter Peeters. Maybe he should have gone with “Flash”.
#41 - Cam Neely - Believe it or not, “Cam” was the first time I was introduced to “Cameron” as a mainstream first name. And even then, I didn’t make the connection. As a result, I usually drew a reference to “camshaft” and a car related nickname was always cool…as long as it wasn’t “dipstick“.
