Archive for the 'Bruins History' Category
Posted in Bruins History, 50 Greatest Bruins names June 9th, 2007
So whaddya think? I’ll betcha no one was pondering the like of John Quilty and “Peggy” O’Neill, were ya? Hang on tight…what’s left is bound to be a pleasant blend of the obvious and the obscure. I can almost guarantee no one’s going to guess my top two. But, I digress, I’m tipping my hat too much…we’re not even at the Top Ten yet!
#20 – Orville “Obs” Heximer – Orville Heximer was good enough, but “Obs”? Heh. So immature. So awesome.
#19 - Forbes Kennedy - With a name like this, you don’t get a sad story about an poor child growing up in a steel mill town…father dying at age 7 after a horrible smelting accident…15 siblings in tattered clothes, 12 of them dying before the Red Sox won in 2004. Hell, you wonder why he’s not running for office in Worcester and/or driving mistresses into the local tributary. The funny thing is that he had 195 PIM for the Flyers in ‘68-’69. “Errrrah, is there any powdah in the clubhouse? My right fist is getting chafed!”
#18 - Sprague Cleghorn - Pay, ahhh say, pay attention boy! Ahhh was one of the dirtiest players eveh and even clubbed Lionel Hitchman over the head with mah stick when he was on the Senators! Ahhh couldn’t believe he kept his teeth numbered for just such an occasion!
#17 - Bobby Schmautz - Ahhhhh, Bobby Schmautz…my favorite non-Orr, non-Esposito player from the ’70s. You didn’t think I’d leave him off this list, did you? How can you not love someone apparently named after something you might find on the side of your face after eating a jelly donut?
#16 - Vladimir “Rosie” Ruzicka - As if “Rosie” wasn’t funny enough, there’s something ironic about having the same first name as Vlad the Impaler in addition to that. It’s almost like having someone named Adolf “Sweetcheeks” Johnson.
#15 - Kenny “The Rat” Linseman - Thus named by Bobby Clarke due to his on ice-posture. His career was ended prematurely in 1996 when he was slapped across the Panthers locker room by Scott Mellanby, sparking their Stanley Cup bid that year. What? Oh. sorry. Wrong rat.
#14 – Chris “Knuckles” Nilan – Finally, a nickname befitting someone’s job description. You know when you’re hiring someone named “Knuckles”, he’s not going to be there to help boost your power play. Not unless you’re planning on having him clobber the other team’s best defender.
#13 - Emory “Spunk” Sparrow - Another case where the name was good enough already but the nickname enhanced it jusssst that much more. He may have been spunky, but he wasn’t that good…in only eight NHL games, he had zero points to show for it.
#12 - Fleming MacKell - …zerre, late one night deep in zee Louisiana marshezz I heard it…zee throaty warble of one of zee rarest and mozzt elusive waterfowl in Les Etats-Unis…zee Fleming MacKell…
#11 - Percy “Perk” Galbraith - I guess when you’ve got a name like Percy, you’ve got to find a way to toughen it up a little bit. Unfortunately, I’m not sure if “Perk” was the way to go. On a positive note, he did play on various teams with “Peaches“, “Peggy” and “Pinkie“, so at least he must have able to deflect some of the taunting then…
Coming soon, the final list you’ve all been waiting for…#1-10!
Posted in Bruins History, 50 Greatest Bruins names June 2nd, 2007
Am I getting down to your favorites? Goooood. I know you guys have a few that you can think of off the tops of your heads. Hopefully I haven’t hit them already. If I have, you may be surprised what’s still out there.
And the list continues. For #41-50 click here, for #31-40 go here and for some last minute additions click here.
#30 - Bill Shill - If there was anyone whose name seemed to have them predestined towards stardom…or at least hawking low-end products with his name on it…it was him. But, alas, playing only 79 NHL games rarely provides you that opportunity. Maybe in the ’90s pal…but not in the ’40s.
#29 - Gord Kluzak - Loved the name then, love it now. It sounds like either a hard-nosed Ukranian player or a Neptunian overlord from a 1950s sci-fi movie. His history of knee injuries are legendary but here’s an interesting piece of trivia: the first NHL player to cause a devastating knee injury to Kluzak? How about this guy when he skated for the Devils?
#28 - Jim “Peggy” O’Neill - Sometimes you just don’t want to know.
#27 - Werner Schnarr - A German who predated the Kraut Line by about 10 years. Hooooooogaannnnnn!!!!
#26 - Aubrey “Dit” Clapper - I’ll be honest with you. He had me at “Aubrey”. Dit was just icing on the cake.
#25 - Rogie Vachon - The guy who most reminded me of Denis “I lose my blouse!” Lemieux. Plus, his “smiley face” mask was always a favorite.
#24 - Cecil “Tiny” Thompson - Usually, people dubbed “Tiny” aren’t small (Thompson was 5′10″, 180 lbs…not bad for the ’20s), or at least don’t play that way. In 12 years, he collected four Vezina trophies and backstopped the B’s to their first Stanley Cup victory in 1929. DON’T call me “Tiny”!
#23 - Clayton Beddoes - This is probably more of a personal favorite of mine because of a faux pas. Knowing a couple of Claytons myself, I thought Beddoes was black before I saw him play. Obviously I was wrong. Hey, for the longest time I thought Johnny Mathis was white too…what the hell do I know?
#22 - Dmitri Kvartalnov - K-Vart was to Russian imports what K-Mart is to designer clothes. Well, at least he produced more than #47 Grigori Panteleev.
#21 - John Quilty - C’mon. Quilty?? Is there a Steve Macrame out there too? And before someone else makes the joke in the comment field, I’ll beat you all to it: Maybe he was part of a “patchwork” defense? <rimshot>
Stay tuned for #11-20!
Posted in Bruins History, 50 Greatest Bruins names May 31st, 2007
After doing some additional research, I unearthed some more names…specifically nicknames…that eluded me in my initial searches. Because of this, I’ve decided to slightly shuffle my top 30. Because of the new entries some of the original Top 30 had to get cut. We’ve asked them to leave their playbooks and almost-great name tags in their lockers.
As a result, I present to you an additional Honorary Mention list. Some of these would probably even make the Top 50, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to go back and completely redo #31-50. 
Eddie “Edmonton Express” Shore - Eddie Shore needs no introduction. One of the greatest defenseman ever to play the game and was an end-to-end D man well before Bobby Orr was even born. To me, “Edmonton Express” was a good nickname, but didn’t blow me away.
Johnny “Chief” Bucyk - I almost feel to the point of sacrilege here by putting Eddie Shore and “Chief” in ANY sort of Honorable Mention category. Unfortunately, I’ve only been mildly impressed by the name…even if it does (incorrectly) reflect his heritage. Now, if they called him Geronimo, Cochise or even Pocahontas…well then, that would be a different story.
Phil “The Italian Slot Machine” Esposito - The only reason this nickname isn’t in my top ten is because of its relative obscurity. I’ve only seen this reference in a few places and, unfortunately, not plastered all over the internet, signed on his 8×10 photos, etc. “Espo” is obviously the more common moniker which, regrettably, isn’t all that impressive. His detractors often pointed out that most of his goals weren’t that fancy and came while standing in the slot (hence the nickname) but you know what? Not everyone who “just stands in the slot” can rack up 717 career goals.
Derek “Turk” Sanderson - I only wish I could give mustache points. Man, I miss the 70’s.
Ron “Peaches” Lyons - The 1930-31 Bruins had a Dutch, Tiny, Cooney, Dit, Smokey and a Perk. Somehow, someone, somewhere decided they also needed a Peaches. With that name, you have to wonder if they were really trying to get a flapper to accompany the team.
Orval Tessier - His name screams farm upbringing. And also smells vaguely of popcorn.
Garnet “Ace” Bailey - The nickname “Ace” has also been a weakness of mine but the fact that he died on Flight 175 in the 9/11 attacks gives him an extra boost in my book.
Posted in Bruins History, 50 Greatest Bruins names May 28th, 2007
Last week, I began my countdown of the top 50 names in Bruins history. One thing I want to clarify is that there’s no “greatest” and “worst” names list…just greatest. However, by default, some of the worst names are also the greatest. Would anyone remember Don Mossi if it wasn’t for his giant ears? And if this is the first time you’ve ever seen Don Mossi, what will you remember him for? His career 3.43 ERA? IIIIIII don’t think so! Likewise, some of the worst names are also the “greatest”.
And so we strike forward!
#40 - Gerry “Cheesy” Cheevers - Whether it be due to his predisposition to giving up a lot of goals, his taste in clothes or a love of muenster, you’ve gotta love the nickname of “Cheesy”.
#39 - Wayne “Weiner” Brown - A man lost to the ages who only played four playoff games with the team in 1954…none in the regular season…and never saw the NHL again. And yet, he managed to earn a nickname. What’s in a name? Perhaps everything.
#38 - Bob “Pinkie” Davie - Hey, as stupid as it sounds, if you’re going to give someone a finger-based nickname, I’d rather it be Pinkie than “Thumbs” or “Middle Finger”. I’m sorry, check that. If his nickname was “Middle Finger”, he catapults to #1 on this list.
#37 - Woody Dumart - Maybe it’s the “Cheers” fan in me, but I’ve always loved “Woody” as a nickname. That love also goes back to precocious woodpeckers. Not only that, but “Dumart” rolls off the tongue rather easily…to the point where the whole name sounds like a question.
#36 - Cleon Daskalakis - I’m going to go out on a limb here and say he’s Greek. Hey, I’m right! Cleon’s one of those rare people who…with at least 10 games under their belt…have nearly more letters in their last name (ten) than games on the ice (twelve).
#35 - Charles “Moose” Cahill - One season, one point…in 31 games. No, he wasn’t a defenseman or a goalie. He was a winger. Even better? He was 5′10″ and 180 lbs. Apparently, “Moose” referred to his agility, not his size.
#34 - Harry “Yip” Foster - According to a 1995 trivia piece in the Boston Globe, the first mustachioed player in the NHL. What’s that have to do with “Yip”? I have no idea. Maybe he was either a bad putter or he had one of those tiny aggravating dogs that makes you want to punt it out the window when someone comes to the door or when a noisy leaf blows by.
#33 - Poul Popiel - No, that’s not a typo. A name like that seems like a cross between Pol Pot and Ron Popeil. Boy, as much as I’d love to come up with clever joke incorporating a mass murderer, the Veg-O-Matic and hockey, I’m drawing a blank here. Well, whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll include the 1924-25 Boston Bruins! <rimshot> Thank you! Thank you! You’re too kind! Thank you!
#32 - P.J. Stock - His name just screams “goon”. Somehow I don’t think his parents had any intention for him to grow up to become a frilly center with cutesy stickhandling skills. And…hey wait a minute…I may have found the punchline for #33 above!
#31 - Joe Juneau - Like Dallas Smith, you gotta love the city name. And he treasured it right down to the #49 on his jersey (Alaska, of course, being the 49th state). Even better was the French pronunciation of his name: Zhoe-ay Zhoo-no.
Stay tuned for #21-30, coming soon!
Posted in Bruins History, 50 Greatest Bruins names May 24th, 2007
On the whole, great players usually have uninteresting names. Eddie Shore. Gordie Howe. Sometimes, they’re moderately interesting. Red Kelly. Wayne Gretzky. And, rarely, there were dual home runs. “Black Jack” Stewart. Bernie “Boom Boom” Geoffrion.
But, unfortunately, for the most part those with memorable names have never had equally memorable talent. Henceforth, these people have been doomed to obscurity, only resurfacing in archived box scores and “whatever happened to” pieces.
But here at The Spoked B, we’re about to change that.
Flipping through the annals of Bruins history yields some great names. Some cursed with dumb first names, some with dumb last names and some with dumb nicknames. Sometimes they hit the trifecta with all three. Sometimes the names rhyme, sometimes they’re an example of alliteration and sometimes they’re so bizarre you wonder if they were from a different planet or if their parents were “touched in the head” when they filled out the birth certificate.
Even better, sometimes they’re just so fantastic you wish the guy succeeded so that you could discuss his name and/or wear his jersey with pride. Would Babe Ruth be the same if he went by his given name of “George”?
The list I’ve compiled consists of what I feel are the best Bruins names ever. They may meet the above criteria, or none of it. But, for whatever reason, they appealed to me. So, without further ado, here they are. And, sorry guys…no Wacey Rabbit. Maybe next year.
Honorable Mention
- Ultra-Italians: Tony Tuzzolino, Gino Rozzini and Zellio Toppazzini
- Nickname-o’Holics of the early Bruins - Albert “Babe” Seibert, Walter “Happy” Harnott, Leighton “Happy” Emms, Reginald “Hooley” Smith, Frederick “Bun” Cook, and Ralph “Cooney” Weiland
- Funny Fins: Jarmo Kekalainen and Mikko Makela
- Others: Nevin Markwart, Larry Melnyk, Moe Lemay, Blaine Lacher, Joel Prpic, Wes Walz, Vic Ripley, Sylvio Mantha, Pete Babando, Eddie Panagabko, Marquis Mathieu, Ivan Huml, Brantt Mhyres and Bill Quackenbush
#50 - Fernie Flaman - “Fernie” (snicker) . ‘Course, if I ever did that to his face, at 80 years old he’d probably still lay me out.
#49 - William “Flash” Hollett - A member of the 30’s era Bruins which seemed to have a quota of at least seven nicknamed players on their teams at all times. To me, “Flash” is one of the corniest, yet most endearing nicknames in sports. Even better is when it’s used ironically like Zdeno “Flash” Chara.
#48 - Orland Kurtenbach - With a name like that you could swear he was competing against Arnold Schwarzenegger for Austrian body building championships back in the ’70s. Even the accent fits perfectly. Ahhhhhnold. Orrrrrrland. See? Rolls right off the tongue.
#47 - Grigori Panteleev - One of those cheap Russian imports from the ’90s that never quite worked out. Most importantly, though, his name sounded vaguely like “pantaloons”.
#46 - Carol Vadnais - One of my favorite Bruins of the ’70s. Unfortunately, people named Carol just shouldn’t look like this.
#45 - Dallas Smith - Another weakness of mine are people named after cities. And one in Texas as well. Dallas Earl Smith. It just bleeds “cowboy” cool. And this was a guy from Manitoba too. Well, I guess it beats Hamiota Earl Smith.
#44 - Antti Laaksonen - Simply put, his name reminds me of “laxative”. And any scatological humor is a winner in my book.
#43 - Ralph Barahona - When I say this name out loud, I wind up getting Heart stuck in my head. Ooooooo Barahona! Woaaoww wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah WAAHHHHHHHH woaaoww.
#42 - Pete Peeters - Honestly. Who gives their kid the same first name as their surname? If he didn’t adopt “Pete” he’d have been Peter Peeters. Maybe he should have gone with “Flash”.
#41 - Cam Neely - Believe it or not, “Cam” was the first time I was introduced to “Cameron” as a mainstream first name. And even then, I didn’t make the connection. As a result, I usually drew a reference to “camshaft” and a car related nickname was always cool…as long as it wasn’t “dipstick“.
